Proud by Ibtihaj Muhammad (with Lori L. Tharps)

Right, so, best way to establish what we're doing is to do one book with the stated theme (murder) and then do something else.

So I decided to read a non-fiction memoir about an Olympic medalist.

You're welcome.

I have what is possibly a problematic thing going on with Islam. On the one hand, I find it fascinating and want to support Muslims (especially women) in being able to live their lives in the US without having to apologize for their own existence. On the other hand, I am Catholic and firmly believe that they are...misguided in their faith. The problematic part of this comes in when you factor in my irrational love of hijab and my ability to focus on it like it's a shiny penny. *sigh*

So I feel like I should admit, up front, that I saw Ms. Muhammad in the 2016 Olympics, and while I care nothing for fencing as a sport, I was like, "YES!!!! HIJABI ON THE FIELD!!!"

And when I heard that she was writing a book I jumped on that too, because I felt that I should support her - for example I was offended when I went to buy her book and there was no display for it. I honestly think that another Olympic medalist would have had a little display for their books debut, but the rules of book display have been explained to me and maybe I'm wrong but maybe not.

Even though biographies/memoirs and non fiction are not my normal bag, I was really looking forward to this.

So here we go.

First, over all, I enjoyed the book.

I enjoyed reading the little bits we get about Ms. Muhammad's family, especially her parents who were both converts to Islam for the peace and stability that they found there. Her parents pulled themselves out of a rough background and went on to be a teacher (her mother) and a police detective (her father) while also raising five children. They worked to make sure that their children had the best set up to succeed in life and that takes a lot of work and dedication. I could read a whole book just about them, no kidding.

Finding out that Ms. Muhammad picked up fencing as just another sport for part of the school year (her parents were very in to the extracurriculars as a means of keeping their children active and also with an eye to scholarships, etc in the future) and did not like it after one lesson. I guess you always get the impression that someone who makes it to the Olympics just...picked that sport and it clicked and they knew that they were meant to do this thing.

Ms. Muhammad did not click, and did not know that she was meant to do this thing. She actually only picked it back up in high school because it was a sport she could play when volleyball was off, and the uniform meant that she could remain covered without having to make extensive changes to the uniform. And even then, though she used it to help her get into the college of her choice, she did not take it up as her career, or her life. That all came later, after she graduated and failed to get a job in her chosen field.

So I found that all very, very interesting and I enjoyed the stories of her interactions with fans, and her family, and the almost accidental way that fencing became more and more important to her. Not that she just lucked into being able to compete in the Olympics, please, she worked impossibly hard to make it, just like any other Olympic athlete has to.

However.

I find it hard to put 100% in the fact that literally almost everyone that Ms. Muhammad ever worked with in the fencing world was against her, or eventually failed her because they weren't as invested in her as she was. Which, okay, that sounds odd but we'll get back to it.

I cannot think of anyone on any of her own teams or groups that Ms. Muhammad ever says were friendly towards her or just even polite. It seems like at every turn she is getting snubbed and insulted and even the coaches are trying to sabotage her. And even coaches who at one point are ideal and important and helpful in getting her to the next level fall away and suddenly aren't there to support her anymore. Because they have other students and their own lives and a family, which all seem like reasonable things.

And I just don't know...it seems like a lot? Admittedly, I am not African-American. I am not Muslim, and I am not a hijabi. I am also not involved in competitive sports. But it just....

Literally everyone?

Everyone?

Only her family ever fully supported her?

It's a lot.

And I think....from the impression she gives in her own words, Ms. Muhammad is incredibly focused and driven and perhaps that is not the best combination of traits to win friends? Certainly she mentions a couple of friends, but I know some people who are hyper-driven and they are exhausting and while I love them they find that most people fall short of their own self defined goals and aren't able to keep up with them. So I can't help but wonder if part of the problem is that. Mind you, I am certain that she has faced and will continue to face a lot of backlash and prejudice.

Maybe I just don't want to believe that so much prejudice can be so pervasive and widespread.

So.

I recommend the book, it's a fairly quick read and it's well written. It's an interesting story, especially if you like getting a look into how much work it takes to hit Olympic level and the fact that it's not just a magical talent - it's effort and will and your whole life on the line for this one chance.